Week 45 - Splitting hairs, splitting cells

A conversation between Cassandra Alphonso & her partner, submitted to the '2024 Australian Anthology: Poetry on Love' edited by Lacuna Grove.

Acknowledgements
This is for my sibling, who without I would’ve never considered my potential as a mother. And my partner, who kept me sane through it all

My love! How was work today?

                                                                          Sweetness!! I'm so glad to see you after today

Why? What'd they do to you

                                                                                               No no no. Nothing bad. I've just-

You just?
                                                                                                                        Do you want kids?

I mean, not in this world

                                                                                                                         Asides from that

It's kind of hard to ignore that, love

                                                                                                                               Yeah it's just-

Wait. You've never wanted kids

                                                                                           No it's not the fact that I want kids

Then?

                                         I... I'm kind of pissed they've taken away my ability to have kids

I mean... that's a little dramatic

                                                                                                                       It's not. Not really
                                                                            If we weren't scared of financial instability-

I feel like it's more than that
                                                                                                                   -and Climate Change
                                                                                                             and potential apocalypse
                                                                                              and growing quality of life issues
                                                                                                    and decreasing mental health
                                                                                                           and increasing loneliness

Wait. You're making all the right points as to why not have a kid

                                                                                                                                            Yeah

But you're still thinking about having kids?

                                                                                                That's not the point I'm making

And also, you're completely neglecting the fact that being a mother is a physical and mental toll that will just completely drain your energy and our resources.

                                                                                                                                  Exactly

What?

                                                                                              This isn't really me wanting a kid
                                                             This is me being pissed that it isn't a rational choice
                                                                                       I don't know if I want to be a mother
                                               Because there's no way in hell I'd subject a kid to this world

Do you want to be a mother? 

                                   I don't know and it's making me so pissed that I might never know

I mean, just the mental and physical drain on you alone bringing it up-

                                                                                                           That's my point! That's it!

I- 
                              We've made it so we put all the responsibility of a child on it's mother
                                                                                                 We literally have a saying for it
                                                                                                                            It takes a village
 When the fuck was the last time you saw a mother ask for help without a semblanceof guilt?


You want to be a mum?

                                                                                                  I want to be able to choose that
                                                                     I don't feel like there's really a choice right now